| Explain to me all my happiness that you just experienced by my side |
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| Sometimes I wish |
[07 Feb 2010|06:38pm] |
Sometimes I wish I was smaller and I had more freckles, both things are so cute!
I have some freckles on my face, under my eyes and on my nose but you can hardly ever see them. I'm pretty small too but I wish I was smaller like 5 foot, I want to be pocket sized.
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| blugleflorg |
[07 Feb 2010|01:38am] |
I'm so exhausted I feel as though I could fall asleep with my eyes open. I woke up at 9 AM and I thought I must have just gone to sleep early but apparently I went to sleep at about 2 AM on Friday so... I have no idea why I woke up so early ;;
I'm in a really cuddly mood today, I just want to snuggle pretty much constantly xDD you know that feeling when you're just so happy to be cuddling someone that you sort of wish you could get inside them and cuddle them? xDD I have no idea if anyone else will know what I mean by that but that's how I feel, in a nice way ^^
Anyway I found mind bending things, observe.
I know I nearly let foolish ideas of womanly independance ruin my life on a daily basis, how about you?
( these are insane )
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| my mind is full right up |
[05 Feb 2010|12:31am] |
I'm so tired recently, I keep thinking of how I want to do so many things and how I want to do more of the things I am doing, how I want to write stories and poetry and read all the millions of books that are piling up around me, I want to wear pretty dresses and walk around barefoot because it feels nicer and always look fresh and healthy and aglow. I want to see the sunlight pouring in through the window and filtering into the room green through all the plants in the way, I want so many plants that you can smell them when you walk into the room. I want a window I can sit beside somehow, I want a beautiful view and to peer through vines of Ivy.
I want to go out dancing more regularly, I want to dye my hair sugary colours blue, green, red, I want to wear nail polish and pearl necklaces and earrings and red lipstick and I want to paint my toenails, I want to take a bubble bath, I want to do my hair in a beehive, I want fresh space, I want to go on a picnic and a boat ride and a trip to the forest and the seaside, I want to collect shells and driftwood and rocks, I want to run shouting into the little waves of the sea, I want sea air in my hair, I want to see seaside colours and daydream of all the houses on the seafront with their beautiful painted faces.
I want warm kisses and warm hands and a warm bed, I know I already have these but I always want to stay in them and they seem so fleeting every time. I want a canopy made up of all the materials I can't help but buy when they catch my gaze, I want to play Pokemon tournaments, I want to sing songs, I want to make a fort, I want to play on my gameboy, I want to buy a N64 with a Pikachu on it and play Pokemon Snap, I want to dress up like a flower and the sun and the moon and I want a little useless guitar that I can paint like a circus, I want to dress up like a moth in all white, I want more stripy tights and stripy stockings with worn out boots that will never quite fall apart but look as though they will, I want adventures, I want to lay down in the grass and roll around and laugh, I want to play games with the clouds and watch the birds and hear them singing, I want to eat home grown apples and peas, I want to play with my rats on the bed and kiss their tiny faces and sing them little songs, I want to go to France just because, I want a pair of fairy ears, I want to build something feverishly and with huge excitement.
I want to do a lot of things, most of the time I want to do everything and yet my mind is completely content with the actions at hand. But when I get so tired, so tired that I could crawl into a cacoon and hibernate, my mind gets restless and I just want to run about like a mad and happy whirlwind.
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| Blog Birthday |
[04 Feb 2010|01:40pm] |
Today is the year anniversary of starting my blog! There is a proper post about it on there ^^ also I'm doing a give away of a copy of Alice In Wonderland and Alice Through the Looking Glass as well as a painting which I will be posting later today, anyone can join in so come along if you're interested!
http://dear-sweetlings.blogspot.com/
Steven and I are going out into town for a little while, I'm excited since I feel like I haven't been able to go out much recently and it's making me feel a bit loopy xDD I want to go and get that gothy coat I saw and get some more Pokemon cards from the market.
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| >.< gimped computer again |
[03 Feb 2010|11:36am] |
My laptop is really starting to make me mad. A few weeks ago it got a massive virus and had to be wiped and now the internet has gone on it.
I don't really know what's wrong with it at all because the netbook also can't connect to the internet. I think there may actually be a problem with the wireless but I have no clue what it could be, Steven spent a few hours last night trying to fix it and got nowhere. It's making me mad because it's only me that can't get onto it, the housemate upstairs was online last night so we know his must work so what the hell is up with mine?
I wouldn't mind so much if it was just my laptop and I could use the netbook or something because I know it would get sorted at some point but at the moment the only option I have is to go on Steven's computer which I can only really do when he's not here which is... now. So any other day that isn't Wednesday I have no way of getting online at all.
I wish it would just get over itself and work >.<;;;
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| and you don't know why but you're dying to try you wanna kiss the girl |
[02 Feb 2010|03:42pm] |
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Happy Ending - The Little Mermaid |
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I made a chibi of myself ^^
I've been editing lots of pictures today, it seems I always take loads of pictures but then I forget to put them places or sort them out properly. It's like I've taken a picture every day so far but I haven't updated my Flickr stream for my 365 for ages and now I dunno which pictures I took on which day!
My mum got Steven this magical garden crystal growing kit for Christmas and we started it off yesterday, it looks amazing! I took pictures and put some dinosaurs in it because dinosaurs in a crystal garden really is a magical garden ♥
Oh man my timetable for Mondays is crazy now ;; I have one hour of Differential Diagnosis then 2 hours of Pathophysiology then 2 hours of Research methods and then a break and then another hour of Differential Diagnosis... it's like 5 hours straight of lectures with no break, we don't even break for lunch until 2 pm! I can just tell it's going to be such a hard day although yesterday wasn't so bad, somehow I managed to enter zombie mode without even realising so the first hour felt like 10 minutes. Also I spoke to my friend Matt yesterday, he's really nice but I hardly ever get to speak to him really so it was nice ^^ I ate dinner with people I usually don't, I spoke to him about Tarot cards and he told me about Runes and how his sister made her own which is something I really want to do!
Yesterday Steven bought two books which I'm really interested in, one is The Naked Ape and the other is The Naked Woman or something like that (not as naughty as it sounds at all xD)... the authour does a lot of studies about people which both Steven and I are interested in. I also bought Steven his present for Valentines day and he bought me a surprise present just because! I thought it was a Valentines gift but apparently it's not because he said he will give it to me when it gets here, I was like 'but why!' and he said because I am always buying him little gifts and he felt like getting me a little something just because ^^
There is this coat in the window of one of the charity shops on the way into town, it's amazing! It's black with a black feathery collar and it's so gothy and pretty and only £4, I really want to get it! There was another thing as well in the window that I wanted but I forgot what it was. I also want to get more My Little Ponies soon, hopefully they will have some in.
Oh somebody asked me such a sweet question on formspring about how am I so happy because my LJ is a joy to read! It made my day to get that so whoever asked me that thank you ^^ you're sweet.
I have been getting so bored of my hair recently, I miss my blue hair so badly ;W; so I bought a blue wig.
It's great because it is just the right length, I like long wigs but they are just too hard to wear on a daily basis whereas something shoulderlength is easy and light and doesn't get annoying and I can always tie it up as well if I like ^^
magical crystal garden!
This picture kills me xDDD I look like I'm wearing fake teeth! It pretty much sums up everything about our relationship.
( more pictures of all sorts )
Oh we started watching the first season of Pokemon the other day after it finally downloaded, I was squeeing so much because like all my most favourite Pokemon are in the first episodes xDD Chansey, Koffing, Caterpie! now for the ghosties soon!!!
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| New Paintings |
[01 Feb 2010|12:22am] |
New paintings I've done over the past few days ^^; Apologies for the yellowness >.<
( more )
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| Of Happiness |
[30 Jan 2010|01:27pm] |
I'm in such a good mood today ^^
Last night I went out to Cubes with Steven and met up with my friend Charlotte from class who hadn't been there before, she bought her friend Kerry as well.
It was the Rock Night so some of the time was spent bouncing around to songs I didn't entirely recognise xD it was so fun to be able to go out again, finally things seem to be chilling out again and we're able to relax more again.
Charlotte seemed to really love Cubes which made me so glad, it was our first time going out together so I'm glad she had fun, her and Steven got on really well too which pleased me and she kept saying how he is so sweet to me and so lovely which is true! They were talking about how cute I am when I headbang apparently xDD
I did a lot of dancing last night for the first time ever, I've always been too shy to dance in public before but last night I just let go and went nuts. The great thing about the place we go to is that nobody cares about your dancing at all and most people there are just going crazy anyway. I danced for pretty much 3 hours straight!
Last night there was also a Peregrine Moon and Mars was right next to it! Did anyone see it? It felt magical that it happened somehow, the planets amaze me.
Today it's so sunny and clear and lovely outside, later on if it continues I will ask Steven if he wants to sit out in the garden wrapped up and do something. Right now he is snuffling quietly next to me xDD so cute.
It feels completely amazing to have my good mood back in full swing. The drama with the two C's is receding from my mind now, I've got distance that I need and really it's nothing to do with my life here so it can just run it's course in whatever direction it likes.
P.S: R.I.P J.D Salinger. I read The Catcher in The Rye when I was doing my GCSE's and I think that was a great time to read it, although we had to dissect it I remember the message really hitting a nerve for me, the theme of growing up, of innocence and truth. I used to write quotes from it on the inside of my English book so that I would remember them.
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[25 Jan 2010|02:09pm] |
This month has been very odd, very tough and very busy. I don't know why but I always expect January to slow down and whatever the reality is it always seems to be the hard one, if it is slow then it becomes too slow, if it's fast then it becomes too fast.
I feel like I've hardly sat down and relaxed since the beginning of the year, everything has just been so up in the air and everywhere.
It's been a hard month too, they say that time apart from your partner is good for you don't they? I can't tell if the time I spent away from Steven helped me or was just hellish through and through, I fell into a hole I haven't been in for a while and it was horrible. I did manage to climb out of it again though... still, it's scary knowing it is still there, it hasn't gone and I still need to work on filling it up so I can stop falling into it.
I think this month was a time of really reflecting on myself and trying to find my weak areas and improve on them, that's been a positive point because it's always better to work on your weaknesses than to simply ignore them. It wasn't fun to sit down and really think about the elements of myself that I really don't like but I think it was productive.
January has been good for my blog, I've made a lot of updates, at least one a week, and my readership has gone up by 10 in this month alone which I found quite shocking. I feel a little surprised sometimes that I still love writing on it so much, I wasn't sure I could keep it up in the beginning, but it's really become something for me and I'm so glad so many people enjoy reading it too. I get such lovely comments on there from people saying it makes them happy and gives them hope and encouragement, that's what I made it for, that's the message of it! I have great support from Steven and from my friends too, Steven has always been a fan of my blog ever since we began speaking and he gives me such unending encouragement and enthusiasm for it, my friends on the forums read it too, quite often I believe, and when I went out with Kala for lunch we actually spent quite a long time discussing it, the themes of it, the reasons behind the articles and such. It really feels great to talk to people about it and get really good feedback about it, I feel proud of it as a project.
I think January is ultimately a month of change. This year I moved out of my teens which is quite a big shift I feel, it's been a time to grow and I feel like I have grown, sometimes painfully, but the growth is still there. On our windowsill we have a grape plant that we rescued last year (it was in the discount section heading towards the bin), it was feeble and weak looking when we bought it but we took it anyway.
It's been on the kitchen windowsill since about October when it was getting too cold for it and in the past few weeks it has shot up! It has two stems and one of them is just so long, it's like it grows overnight. It's so sweet to see it growing, so fresh and new and hopeful, reaching for the light. It's actually adorable xD and this year it should grow strong enough to be put outside for good ^^
I decided not to go to Emilie Autumn in the end, we were going to go but it started turning into a huge chore where we would have to pay for the tickets and the accommodation and the travel and in the end it wasn't worth it to be that stressed about it. Still, it's okay. I'm rather relieved that the end of the month has now become foreseeably calmer, I'm going out with Steven and two friends to Cubes on Friday so that should be fun ^^.
I am really looking forward to this year, there are some great plans and I have great friends and the most amazing boyfriend I could ever ask for. January as a whole has been a bit difficult but it's been the start of what I really believe is going to be a magnificent year.
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| 24/365 |
[24 Jan 2010|04:49pm] |
I finished Coraline today \o/ and it's my party in a few hours!
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| games omg |
[22 Jan 2010|03:59am] |
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Ok we saw Bayonetta in the shop today and after talking to a friend about it I have decided it is something I need in my life A.S.A.P
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| Virus Ahoy! |
[21 Jan 2010|08:05pm] |
So my laptop has managed to get infected by one nasty virus! Steven has been trying to fix it for me but it just seems to be getting worse :( it really sucks because I don't want to pay out a load of money to get this thing fixed. Still at least it happened now that I'm back at Steven's and have already handed my essay in do this is a huge blessing.
I spent most of yesterday evening reading Vogue and Coraline so I now have some topics to base blog posts around, still I'm wondering if I shut put up a notice saying there may not be any posts for a while? I usually post a few times a week and Steven said I can post from his computer but I still probably won't be posting to my usual schedule.
My friend Jessie leant me her netbook, it's really sweet of her to do that ^^ so I can still do internet things and chat with people as opposed to being totally cut off.
Oh also I got my hair cut today and so did Steven! He actually got a lot of his cut off but it is really cute and suits him. I got mine thinned, a little layered and some length taken off and my dye has washed out a lot so it's now a sandy sort of red but looks pretty nice, still I might dye it properly red again soon.
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| Housewife day |
[20 Jan 2010|11:46am] |
So I was supposed to go with my housemate for her scan but I ran into her yesterday and discovered it was... yesterday and not today. It turned out she had texted me but because I hadn't had my phone or my charger nobody could get through to me. I did have a bit of a cry about it last night as well as about my old house but really there's nothing I could do about it, it was a simple mistake so I just need to tell her what happened. I hate seeming like the person that bailed because bailing is not something I like to do and I would definitely not do it without telling them I can't go. Since it was yesterday I probably wouldn't have been able to go anyway since my parents were up here but I could have at least told her that.
Yesterday Steven bought an Umbrella plant for the house that he had been eyeing up and I bought some bendy wire which I'm going to use to make wire frames for paper mache stuff and wings when I have my room sorted out. I'm also tempted to make antlers like everyone else in the world because they are really cute however I am aware that female deer don't have antlers and thus it always kind of annoys me when you get these girls wearing antlers. I suppose symbolically it's interesting but I have the feeling it doesn't go that deep.
Oh yes, Steven bought a suit! It is so adorable I can't even begin to express how much I squee'd at him xD he said he bought it partly in case he has a job interview / we go out somewhere fancy and partly because he knows I love suits xDD bless his heart. Today is our 5 month anniversary, is it really so long ago that he first kissed me? Right now at this time 5 months ago I was getting dressed up ready to go out and trying to decide if I wanted a flower in my hair or not xDD I don't think I did wear one in the end. These 5 months have been a dream for me, one I still hope I won't wake up from one day.
So anyway Steven has Uni today so I'm in on my own, I'm going to try and run some errands like a good housewife xDD so my plan for today is thus :-
1. Go to my place and pick up my camera and mp3 player charger.
2. Come back here, plug the mp3 player in (and the camera, might as well) and get dressed.
4. Put my outfit on, I feel like being a bit dressier today so a corset is in order I think! It has clasps in the front so hopefully it's not too hard to tie myself up in the back.
5. Go to Pound Land and buy some black bin bags and some envelopes.
6. Sit and put presents in said envelopes and write the addresses on (take a pen!)
7. Go and post Stella and Rhaggles presents.
8. Come back and take some pictures (still finding it hard to take outfit photos recently >.<;;)
9. Order Priscilla on Amazon.
10. Put some music on and pick up some clothes, put them in black bin bags.
11. Watch Tarzan & Jane which I bought yesterday \o/
Oh yes and some pictures, I keep forgetting to post pictures here.
( a bunch of stuff )
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| Random thoughts |
[18 Jan 2010|11:51pm] |
On Thursday I am getting my hair cut at the hairdressers, Steven is getting his cut too. I haven't had my hair cut at the hairdressers since I was 14! I think I'm just going to get a few inches off and get it thinned out but I'm thinking about layers or maybe just a new cut entirely, ideas?
Today I bought two tubs of miniature plastic Dinosaurs and Farmyard Animals from Early Learning Centre. £14 is a bit insane for said purchase but playing in the bath with them made up for it.
Steven handed his last essay in today, it's good to finally be able to go back to normal at least for a little while. He's seemed a bit off today though and it bugs me because I'm not sure what I can really do about it. It will get better though.
Steven downloaded the Evil Dead game.
I want to play on the Sims 2 but I don't have the discs.
My Paypal is under credit by like £35 so I paid that, why does it take so long to go through though?
All seems to be running smooth and calm on the Jealousy front, if I've nipped this thing in the bud then I'm so happy!
I have my party outfit fully planned which also happens to be my Emilie Autumn outfit, just need to find my petticoats. I'm thinking of buying pearl related things too, maybe a necklace or some individual ones I can put on bobby pins and stick in my hair or both.
Bought two tops from Primark today for £5 \o/ one for editing to go with the corset and one because I seem to be unable to leave soft white ribbed tops alone xD
I have been wearing makeup more often recently, the makeup set I got from Argos which is totally meant for kids is actually really good and I got a Boots gift certificate for Christmas from my uncle which turned out to be so awesome since I got these eyeshadows that are amazing. I need more of them.
I realised I have more friends than I can count on both my hands, this is amazing to me.
I bought Pokemon cards today and got a shiny Darkrai which I think looks awesome xD also there is a shop in the market (from which said cards came from) that sells so much Star Trek stuff! We ended up speaking to the guy running it and Steven said I was a Picard fangirl xDD the guy looked at him like 'I can't believe you have a girlfriend who likes Star Trek'
I bought three types of ribbon for my hair today and some stripy fabric for my unbirthday table cloth / making stuff needs.
My week is insane - My parents are coming down tommorow, going for my housemates first scan with her on Wednesday (God help me to not get too broody please!), haircut on Thursday, first clinic with Jason on Friday (I am afraid ;; but I get to hang out with Charlotte and Monica again), my Unbirthday on Saturday HELL YES and Sunday free so far ^^
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